Comments on: Friends http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162            Blinded by the Light Thu, 20 May 2010 14:48:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: sylvaine http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162/comment-page-1#comment-57 sylvaine Mon, 05 Nov 2007 13:10:52 +0000 http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162#comment-57 Darling not dervish... La derniere fois que j'ai posté un commentaire...mes oeufs durs ont brûlé, la casserolle aussi, et ma main en plus....Si cela n'est pas du désordre c'est en tous les cas de la panique de la part de mes oeufs abandonnés...et cela ressemble fort à un autodafé. http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autodaf%C3%A9 I dont want to speak online of my mental desorder...I have too many...in a single, simple, women. A bit like Jekyll and Hyde. So have pain again...not able to log...But following your sigh and sight. Love Darling not dervish…
La derniere fois que j’ai posté un commentaire…mes oeufs durs ont brûlé, la casserolle aussi, et ma main en plus….Si cela n’est pas du désordre c’est en tous les cas de la panique de la part de mes oeufs abandonnés…et cela ressemble fort à un autodafé.
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autodaf%C3%A9
I dont want to speak online of my mental desorder…I have too many…in a single, simple, women. A bit like Jekyll and Hyde. So have pain again…not able to log…But following your sigh and sight.
Love

]]> By: HvdK http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162/comment-page-1#comment-56 HvdK Thu, 01 Nov 2007 10:12:21 +0000 http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162#comment-56 Yes, I know dear. I was not talking about you when I wrote “They occasionally send nice messages, usually.. etc." I always enjoy your music. I missed out on the tease with the Stockholm syndrome, though. I had four friends over this weekend. You know real life, flesh and blood friends and they all had different opinions on my mental state, so I was grouchy... I am sorry! Well aware as I am that I am more than a little goofy at times, if not always, I tend to overreact when people try to diagnose me. My official diagnosis is PTS, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_stress_disorder" rel="nofollow">post-traumatic stress disorder</a> combined with severe <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_attack" rel="nofollow">panic attacks</a> and depression of course. The latter sort of comes with the terrority, although one is never sure what was there first; the egg or the chicken. I am also dependent on benzodiazepine, because anti-depressants just don't manage to suppress the panic attacks. (And I do not like the effect they have on me. I cannot work on 30 or 60 mg of Remeron and I do love to work!) When I combine my medication with alcohol, which I unfortunately do at times - maybe because I live a very boring life due to these problems - I can turn into a living car bomb, metaphorically speaking, that is. I do hate that addiction but even my psychiatrist sees few or no alternatives. Especially since I seem to be therapy-resistant. My (Dutch) verbal skills make it almost impossible for a psychologist to help me work on better cognitive awareness. (Haha! I speak-a-dee-lingo) And I do detest psychologists! They think life is always and under all circumstances "makeable" and I disagree with that. Sometimes there is just too much damage to be successful in repairing. Think of it as a car that is a total loss. I will just have to live with who I am, as much as I hate it. Two or three panic attacks a day (during depressed periods) over twelve years is enough to make anybody want to hang himself, and I am not even talking about the digusting nightmares day-in day-out, but I am strong and I absolutely adore my son, so I go on. Love, Hans PS; In an earlier post, three years ago I think on Amea's board you suggested that I was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder" rel="nofollow">Bipolar</a>. I tend to think that was a clever diagnosis. Yes, I know dear. I was not talking about you when I wrote “They occasionally send nice messages, usually.. etc.” I always enjoy your music. I missed out on the tease with the Stockholm syndrome, though.

I had four friends over this weekend. You know real life, flesh and blood friends and they all had different opinions on my mental state, so I was grouchy… I am sorry!

Well aware as I am that I am more than a little goofy at times, if not always, I tend to overreact when people try to diagnose me.

My official diagnosis is PTS, post-traumatic stress disorder combined with severe panic attacks and depression of course. The latter sort of comes with the terrority, although one is never sure what was there first; the egg or the chicken.

I am also dependent on benzodiazepine, because anti-depressants just don’t manage to suppress the panic attacks. (And I do not like the effect they have on me. I cannot work on 30 or 60 mg of Remeron and I do love to work!) When I combine my medication with alcohol, which I unfortunately do at times – maybe because I live a very boring life due to these problems – I can turn into a living car bomb, metaphorically speaking, that is.

I do hate that addiction but even my psychiatrist sees few or no alternatives. Especially since I seem to be therapy-resistant. My (Dutch) verbal skills make it almost impossible for a psychologist to help me work on better cognitive awareness. (Haha! I speak-a-dee-lingo) And I do detest psychologists! They think life is always and under all circumstances “makeable” and I disagree with that. Sometimes there is just too much damage to be successful in repairing. Think of it as a car that is a total loss.

I will just have to live with who I am, as much as I hate it. Two or three panic attacks a day (during depressed periods) over twelve years is enough to make anybody want to hang himself, and I am not even talking about the digusting nightmares day-in day-out, but I am strong and I absolutely adore my son, so I go on.

Love, Hans

PS; In an earlier post, three years ago I think on Amea’s board you suggested that I was Bipolar. I tend to think that was a clever diagnosis.

]]> By: sylvaine http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162/comment-page-1#comment-55 sylvaine Thu, 01 Nov 2007 08:58:42 +0000 http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162#comment-55 Thinking about the syndrome of Stockholm hope you understand that in all this article I was teasing...like usual. I won't we both having a language barrier syndrome. I have few friends on the web...CH is very little. Meantime I really don't care of what you say : copy/paste "They occasionally send nice messages, usually with a link to their own site to draw some traffic" Yes I spend too much time on the web and its not good. I give a lot and receive almost nothing. They are other point I will mention in my blog but in my language. I consider you as a friend and true you have a huge hearth. I follow you in all your site or blog. I love your work as photographer and conceptor, I think you are very skill, and I understand some of your passion. For some I wont share anymore. I have too much probs of login. And I dont care my traffic. I will try to spend a better autumn and winter than last year. And trying to live as if I could die the very minute after. I love you silly dutch...I will try to log in Camdogs only this week-end without posting my sitename. OK I just see thats its impossible to post if all required field are filled. Fortunately I made another copy/paste.AAAAHHHHH Sylvaine Thinking about the syndrome of Stockholm hope you understand that in all this article I was teasing…like usual. I won’t we both having a language barrier syndrome. I have few friends on the web…CH is very little. Meantime I really don’t care of what you say : copy/paste “They occasionally send nice messages, usually with a link to their own site to draw some traffic” Yes I spend too much time on the web and its not good. I give a lot and receive almost nothing. They are other point I will mention in my blog but in my language. I consider you as a friend and true you have a huge hearth. I follow you in all your site or blog. I love your work as photographer and conceptor, I think you are very skill, and I understand some of your passion. For some I wont share anymore. I have too much probs of login. And I dont care my traffic. I will try to spend a better autumn and winter than last year. And trying to live as if I could die the very minute after.
I love you silly dutch…I will try to log in Camdogs only this week-end without posting my sitename. OK I just see thats its impossible to post if all required field are filled. Fortunately I made another copy/paste.AAAAHHHHH
Sylvaine

]]> By: HvdK http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162/comment-page-1#comment-54 HvdK Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:59:21 +0000 http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162#comment-54 Dear Sylvaine, I warned you about sitting too much behind your computer with back pains. If you can - try to walk a little, instead of doing all that programming. The new site looks great. I like the new typography a lot. Love and take care, you silly girl! ;-) Dear Sylvaine,

I warned you about sitting too much behind your computer with back pains. If you can – try to walk a little, instead of doing all that programming. The new site looks great. I like the new typography a lot.

Love and take care, you silly girl! ;-)

]]> By: sylvaine http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162/comment-page-1#comment-53 sylvaine Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:22:11 +0000 http://www.hvdk.com/archives/162#comment-53 Dear Hans I'm trying to join you desperatly...I have great confusion with login, passwords and so on. And you know How sick I could be, and my cervic constant pain. I rebuild a new site...spending lot and lot of time...having probs with licence I bought with Adobe...jumping from a computer with XP and my new one with Vista...and finally finishing all this shits with my mother who have 90 years old last october 29. And we will survy...I was this morning 31 october...thinking like you about friendship and lonliness...and all syndrom that appears when you become old. I start again creating and posting but slow cause really those past weeks I was about becoming mad. I send you Jeanne Moreau youll find in stars..under construction...and all my love. I was also with my niece who speak currently dutch she live in Utrecht. I will try to login in your latest camdog in french. With Love Dear Hans I’m trying to join you desperatly…I have great confusion with login, passwords and so on. And you know How sick I could be, and my cervic constant pain. I rebuild a new site…spending lot and lot of time…having probs with licence I bought with Adobe…jumping from a computer with XP and my new one with Vista…and finally finishing all this shits with my mother who have 90 years old last october 29. And we will survy…I was this morning 31 october…thinking like you about friendship and lonliness…and all syndrom that appears when you become old. I start again creating and posting but slow cause really those past weeks I was about becoming mad. I send you Jeanne Moreau youll find in stars..under construction…and all my love. I was also with my niece who speak currently dutch she live in Utrecht. I will try to login in your latest camdog in french.
With Love

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